ebruary is known as the relationship month. And as it's feeling like baby fever here at the clinic, with so many of our practitioners expecting their first, my latest blog will focus on research from my transition to parenthood training.

AFTER BABY: THE BAD NEWS:

Research from the Gottman’s 13 year Bringing Baby Home Study found approximately 2/3 of couples reported:

1)     Being less satisfied with their relationship

2)     Having less conversation and time for   intimacy

3)     Increased conflict

4)     More hostility

5)     Problems in the couple relationship led to more problems in parenting and infant child development

THE GOOD NEWS: 1/3 of “The Master” Couples reported:

1)     Maintaining or increasing their relationship satisfaction

2)     Less hostility and conflict

3)     Reduction of Postpartum Mood Disorders

4)     Better emotionally and intellectually developed babies

Some of the Secrets of the “Masters” Couples include:

1)     Strong Friendship

2)     Strong Conflict Resolution/Problem Solving Skills (Know the Difference between Perpetual and Solvable Problems and able to make repairs)

3)     Both partners know the symptoms of Post Partum Mood Disorder

4)     They avoid score keeping and dad makes the shift from “Me to We”

5)     Mom is comfortable asking for what she needs

6)     Both know how to self-soothe and read baby’s cues

7)     Both turn towards instead of away or against the other and are open to accepting influence from the other

8)     Both give love in their partner’s love language

9)     Humour, shared values and rituals of connection keep the relationship strong

10)  Both parties feel the other is there for them

I've applied much of what I've learned from training in the Bringing Baby Home ™ program in my own 20+ year relationship and in my work with moms to ease the transition to and throughout parenthood. In addition to BBH and the Gottmans' books, I also draw on research and practices from "Baby Bomb" by Kara Hoope,  "Releasing the Motherload" by Erica Djossa, “Fair Play” by Eve Rodsky and Sue Johnson's “Hold Me Tight” as well as self-compassion to help mamas protect and strengthen their relationship and honour their needs while growing a family.

Looking for support? Nicole is available Mondays 12-6pm and covered by most group insurance benefits. You can book a Free Intro call online to ask questions and see if we're a fit:  

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Nicole Schiener, RP, Certified Gottman Educator, BBH